okay
by soligblomma
Summary: missing scenes in between Robin's death and the funeral 5x21, Regal Believer, Wicked Queen
1. Chapter 1

„Mom?"

She's sitting on the couch in the living room, his mom. His strong mom who always puts on a smile for him whenever he's around because she doesn't want him to see the real Regina, but Henry knows the real Regina, he knows her kind heart, her strong heart. Now she's sitting there, hands gripping something, staring blankly in front of her.

He came to the mansion as soon as he heard the terrible news. Zelena opened the door for him, a crying infant in her arms. She told him everything about this dreadful evening, choking back tears, two true loves lost today, two true loves that were so very different from each other.

„She hasn't moved since we got back from the morgue."

They brought Robin there, arranged the funeral for the very next day. He can only imagine how hard it must've been for his mother. He wants to be there for her.

„Mom?" he tries again.

Regina's not reacting, still staring at the space in front of her, still gripping that object in her hand tightly.

It's Robin's scarf.

He moves to sit next to her and lays a hand over hers.

She finally looks at him. Bloodshot brown eyes are staring right into his hazel ones. It takes her a while to recognize who's sitting next to her.

„Henry." His name comes out like a whisper, barely there, only for him to hear.

He's fidgeting with the scarf in her hands now because he doesn't know what else to do.

She's looking down and takes a deep breath.

„I'm sorry, mom," he says, because he doesn't know what else to say. No words seem to be the right choice at this moment.

She grips the scarf even harder, new tears dreading to fall.

„I…wh-…what can I do?" he asks cautiously. He already knows what the answer will be. _Nothing._ That's what she'll say. Because that's the only thing that comes to his mind as well. But he wants to do something. He wants to help her, _nothing_ doesn't seem good enough, nothing at all.

She surprises him by speaking in a low voice.

„We need to honor him. The fu- the funeral doesn't seem to be good enough." He waits for her, he knows she isn't finished yet. „I wanted to use those arrows I gave him so long ago." New tears are gathering in her eyes and it breaks Henry's heart even further. „Those gold-tipped ones."

He knows that story, he heard Robin teasing her with it once. _‚I'd never got payment for breaking into something. You must've liked me already, milady.'_

„But I can't find them," she whispers. „I can't find them." She chokes on her last words and starts sobbing.

Henry gathers his mom quickly into his arms. She's suddenly so small, his strong mom.

„I'll ask the Merry Men, maybe they know where they are."

She's buried her face in his neck and he can feel the slight nod. „And if we don't find them, we'll take the ones he always used," Henry says.

He can hear the muffled „okay." And he knows she's going to be exactly that, _okay_. Not right now, not in the near future, but eventually.

So he tightens his arms around her silently sobbing form. Because he'll be there for her, always.


	2. Chapter 2

A whiff of pine and moss reaches her senses. Forest. It smells like forest. She snuggles closer to the source of this wonderful scent, memories attached to it. She smiles, her eyes still closed, reaching a hand out in front of her where she suspects the warm body with that incredible homey smell lies.

She reaches into nothing.

Regina frowns and opens her eyes, her hand floating between the couch and the living room table. She retrieves her hand instantly just to be met with the source of the forest smell.

Robin's scarf. She was lying on her soulmate's scarf. Her mind had tricked her.

Memories of the previous night are rushing back in her mind, suffocating her. She can't breathe.

Regina sits up suddenly, ignoring the blanket that was thrown over her, trying to get out of that memory, out of that awful nightmare, out of that blanket, away from that scarf, from his scent.

„Easy, easy."

She stops moving, legs tangled in that damn blanket, looking up to see her sister reaching for her, reaching for the blanket.

Regina stares blankly at her.

„How about I take this blanket off you?"

Zelena wants to help her, she just wants to help her breathe.

The redhead untangles the suffocating object from Regina's legs and throws it beside the couch, far away from her. She's making a mess, Regina thinks.

Regina glances at the scarf now laying next to her. Zelena sees it and asks „Do you want me to- ?"

„No!" She interrupts sharply, grabbing it, pressing it to her chest protectively. „No, please no," she lets out in a whisper.

Zelena looks at her with blue eyes full of concern. „Okay, okay, I won't," Zelena says, moving to sit next to her sister on the couch. „Henry went out to the camp to ask for the arrows. He didn't want to wake you."

Regina looks up at that, tears gathering in her eyes.

Her sweet little prince. He stayed with her all night, let her cry on his shoulder. He's not supposed to do that, taking care of her like that. It's her job to comfort him, not the other way around. But still she felt a bit better in his arms, she felt safe, home.

„Snow called. She wanted to know if you'll need any help for the funeral," Zelena continues.

Regina just shakes her head, looking back down.

„I thought so," Zelena says. „And told her so."

The phone rings at the far end of the room. „I'll get it." Her sister walks over to the offending noise. Regina doesn't really know why she's still here.

„It's Henry." Regina takes the phone from her sister's grasp. Her son doesn't wait for her to say something. „Hi, mom. We couldn't find the gold-tipped arrows, maybe they haven't made it over with the curse." He pauses then, waiting for her reply, but she says nothing. „But Little John said he'll prepare his other arrows, the ones he always used." Again he pauses, waiting for her to say something. „Mom?" She can't breathe, her lungs feel tight, like someone's squishing them really hard. Regina lets out a shattery breath, tries to suck the air back in. But it's not working. She can't breathe. He's gone and nothing will be okay again.

The phone falls to her lap and she can hear Henry's voice in the distance. She has to breathe, it can't be that hard to breathe.

Regina sees Zelena taking the phone from her, talking to Henry before putting the phone back to where it belongs.

Robin's gone, he's not coming back. Just like the arrows.

She remembers the scarf in her hand and pulls the material to her nose, taking a deep breath. The smell of forest, his scent, is filling her senses again.

Regina falls back to the couch, laying on her side, the scarf pressed to her face. Tears are falling without her doing.

No, she's never going to be okay.


End file.
